Why resisting change is a bad idea…?

“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.” -Sydney J. Harris

Think about how nature changes all the time. It’s such a natural process and we are observing those changes with enjoyment and a sense of excitement.

We have our favourite seasons but there is always something we like in other time of year, that we looking forward to. For example, I am a summer child, but I love the transition from Summer into early Autumn, when the nights are becoming longer, and you can enjoy the candle light dancing on the ceiling.

But when it comes to our lives we are very resistant to any form of change as it’s bringing a sense of fear, uncertainty, and often means we need to step out of the comfort zone and that’s the difficult step that we are afraid to take.

What makes us so resistant to change?

IT BRINGS US FROM MASTER INTO STUDENT POSITION

No matter what aspect of our lives is affected by change, it always brings us into a student position. If you are changing your job, even if it’s the same industry or profession, you still need to learn new software, colleagues interactions and culture.

If it’s a relationship , again, it means that you need to get to know someone else , find out their flaws and virtues, and a way of communication between you.

So, we are suddenly in a reality we don’t know, we need to learn again , and we are not even sure if this effort is worthwhile.

IT BRINGS UNCERTAINTY AND DOUBTS

Fear of change is caused by that certain uncertainty. We are getting doubts because, from a reality where everything was known and real, we entering reality where nothing is for sure and we don’t know how it’s going to move forward. We like when we know what to expect. That’s why we like to read reviews and assure ourselves that the choice we are making is the right one.

IT MEANS THE END OF SOMETHING

Whatever it is, that is changing, it does mean that we need to say goodbye to something or someone and it’s not necessarily an easy thing to do. We may feel sadness and grief, and it’s completely natural, as after all, we may be giving away the major piece of our life.

There is many other reasons , that make us insecure about the change. But the point when we realise that, if the change HAS to HAPPEN, that means the reality, that we are trying to hold on to, is no longer there. Think about it. If your relationship reached the “dead end” where the change of moving on is needed, we may be trying to grab back that reality where our relationship was good and happy. But if the damage went too far, that reality does not longer exist. You will be chasing your tail, trying to get back that past.

When you manage to really see it this way you will be free to let go , and allow the change to happen in your life.

CHANGE ALWAYS MEANS GROWTH

If you suddenly find yourself in a challenging place, you naturally starting to analyse and learn how to survive there. This means that you are developing new skills , outside of your comfort zone. You are getting out of the bubble that you locked yourself up to. You may be learning something new about yourself as well, like the fact that you are able to face whatever life throws at you. The experience of it comes with wisdom , and it’s really just up to us if we accept that lesson and wisdom , or we will let it past.

Getting stuck somewhere you don’t belong is painful, but the fear to move on is holding you back. How can you release that fear?

Firstly you need to understand that there is no such a thing as fear. We are creating it, we have named it, we have used it as a tool to control ourselves and others. But, when you actually realise that it doesn’t exist , that if you have created it, you can easily destroy it. Imagine this feeling and place it on the palm of you hand. Ridicule it . Look how small and not important it is. Look how easy it is to blow it off your hand and release from your energy field.

LET IT FLOW

Nothing good comes from pushing and forcing. Our existence is like flowing water. It will get there, where it needs to go. As long as our energy flows constantly with no subconscious blockages, and our mind is attracting good vibes and good energies, we will finally find ourselves standing where we dreamed to be. To get there we may go through a serious of changes and U-turns, but they are parts of our journey. When things go easy, we may start taking this for granted, but with some challenges we grow and always finding our way. So when life is throwing obstacles and necessity to change at us, it means there is a need for it. It means it needed to be changed , either because if wasn’t serving us or because we need to change our perception and approach to life.

If you notice repetitive pattern in your life, i.e bad luck in holding the relationships, it may mean Universe is trying to tell you that you need to change how you approaching relationships. You may need to learn how to live on your own first and release unhealthy attachments you place on others, before you can get into new relationship and make it working.

Welcome the changes in your life no matter how hard they may be. It is something that meant to happen to either give you the lesson or the blessing.

With love

A